How are you going. How have you been.
I already know the answers to them questions. You stopped elaborating eversince.
You wont tell me because i still care. That it still mattered. Isnt it just sad how after a year, ups and downs. Trying and not even. That today i thought of you?
Sex wasnt our only connection. Or so i had thought once upon a time. And even if it was. It was your weakness.
So i wanted revenge. And the desire which i had thought subdued rose again today. Its a weapon that could agonise you for god knows how long. What if i had done it with one of your best mates.
You always told me that it was disturbing. The way your mates shared girls. That it was utter sin to be fooling with a mates toy whether used broken or disregarded.
If i had slept with any of them you wouldnt even be able to express your concern coz they didnt even know. No body knew. It was the way you preferred it. It was the way i liked it. I like my private life. But to want others blessing im like any fool in love.
So that was payback plan. I was so determined. And then everything went away. You disappeared. Yet here we are again.
Oweek is approaching and i still look the same. WHAT HAPPEN TO REGRET MISSION 101! Make them bastards drool!dw. With time . Thanks now i remember why i have to continue loving you. To want to make you regret. So i can burn this ugliness off at gym. Thankyou.
On another note. Please stay safe. Drive safely. Coz you drive like a maniac. I wonder if you bought your new car yet. Anyhow. Are you even gonna go o week? Its not even pubcrawl. And sifff youre gonna enjoy them dinners and shit.
Or maybe you will becsuse yyoure changing. Youre adapting. Or perhaps because i never knew you.
Saturday 29th Feb.
How much of the night am i going to spend on the lookout for you? None.
Sigh why did i end things so harshly on nye. Fucking alcohol. Lame excuse. That hurt. Hopefully it reached you because i put the rest of our relationship on that.
Hey how have you been. Surprise. I didnt move back to melbourne. Im still at ballarat.
What kind of bs starter line can i use. Or should i just bs. Stop hoping to see a person you should forget. Whom you moved away from for a purpose.
After however many months its attachemnt love. Its true.
This shit is illogical. I dont like irrational bs.
I dont even want to say i miss you its disgusting
Youre fucking sick. Youre just going to forget all the memories we ever made. The words you came to say. And the things you thought to feel.
Fucking hell why do i always go for these sick bastards.
Why cant you have like three thumbs or one ear or something. I cant deal with it. My mentality cant keep up with these disorders depressions phobias paranoia crap.
I mean im just a fragile insecure commitless creep. I mean thats better than you. Thwm fucking hormonal imbalances bs. Urgh . I need to find the perfect human.
Hormones coyldnt you fuck with ppeople i like.
Sighs i like them coz theyre all so fucked up. Wanting them to change them. Bsssss. I need to sleep class tmro. May the hormone imbalanced boys stay away this time and not come to break my heart.
He may not have broken my heart because we never came to be anything. Because he was too impatient for the anzwer. But hes frozen his warmth. I dont feel the warmth anymore. Is it gone forever? Blame your fucking saturday night drinks. Still pissed. But theres no point being pissed. Because that shows me i care. And right now i dont so… there goes that.